
Red Devils Brasserie & Football Experience — A Yelp Review
Belgium's 2026 World Cup squad reviewed as a Yelp restaurant: impeccable menu (De Bruyne, Doku, Trossard), a main course (Lukaku, 69 competitive minutes all season) selected on reputation alone, and a kitchen that's been promising a masterpiece for twelve years. Group G: Egypt, Iran, New Zealand. 3/5 stars. The waffle is beautiful. The waffle is not a World Cup. #MatchRewritten
Editor's Note
RED DEVILS BRASSERIE & FOOTBALL EXPERIENCE ★★★☆☆
The Main Course: ★★☆☆☆
The Waffle Problem: The Golden Generation Tab You Will Never Stop Paying
The New Generation Amuse-Bouche

Service: ★★★☆☆
Overall ★★★☆☆
| What you get | What the menu promises |
|---|---|
| De Bruyne, still world-class at 34 | "Best midfielder of his generation" (accurate) |
| Doku, genuinely terrifying on the wing | Daily Special: handle at own risk |
| Lukaku, 69 minutes of 2025-26 season | All-time leading scorer, a legend |
| Garcia, fired after 16 games at Napoli | "A manager who has won things" |
| Group G: Egypt, Iran, New Zealand | Fine dining on a soft opening night |
| Zero major trophies despite 4 years at #1 | "The greatest generation Belgium has ever seen" |
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