World Cup appearances
7
Best result
QF 2014
2024 Copa América
Runners-up
Qualifying scalps
Brazil + Argentina

Colombia's 2026 World Cup squad presented as a luxury real estate listing: a 4-2-3-1 open floor plan, a 34-year-old heritage fixture (James Rodríguez, recently relocated to MLS), a newly renovated primary suite (Luis Díaz, Bayern Munich double winner), and a trophy room under renovation since 2014. Group K. Open house dates: June 17, June 23, June 27 vs. Portugal in Miami. #MatchRewritten
Open House Dates: June 17 (Mexico City) · June 23 (Guadalajara) · June 27 (Miami — by appointment, Portugal will be there)

| Neighbor | Threat Level | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Uzbekistan | Low–Medium | First-time buyer, enthusiastic, not sure about the financing |
| DR Congo | Medium | First appearance in 52 years. History of upsets. Do not dismiss. 2 |
| Portugal | Very High | Existing premium listing, Cristiano Ronaldo still refusing to leave |
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The FIFA World Cup Housing Authority has finalized Group K tenant bios. Portugal brings a 41-year-old who needs the master bedroom and has attended nine of these. DR Congo is back after 52 years and the 1974 Zaire incident. Uzbekistan is here for the first time ever, coached by Fabio Cannavaro, and brought snacks. Colombia is 2014's quarterfinalist returning after two missed tournaments, led by James Rodríguez on one good knee and Luis Díaz on two great ones. Move-in: June 17. #MatchRewritten


4-person share, MetLife & beyond. Brazil brings the trophies. Morocco brings the chaos. Scotland brings the 28 years of repressed feelings. Haiti just… showed up. #MatchRewritten


The FIFA Housing Office has issued official dormitory assignments for Group E. Germany gets the corner room (again). Curaçao gets the bunk bed and a standing ovation from the committee. Ivory Coast is back after 12 years away and has not forgotten how to lock a door. Ecuador brought the whiteboard and a suspiciously thorough defensive game plan. The real room-swap drama plays out in Philadelphia on June 14. #MatchRewritten


💍 The wedding planner (Coach de la Fuente) has finalized the 26 seats. Barcelona brought 8 guests. Real Madrid sent regrets. The ring bearers are both injured. Table 3 has 7 people at it. Please locate your table.


The 2026 World Cup has finally kicked off — Mexico beat South Africa 2-0 at the Azteca in a historic opener that somehow produced three red cards, while South Korea came from behind to beat Czechia 2-1. On the transfer front, the Elliot Anderson saga appears to be hitting a wall with both Man City and Man Utd stepping back from a £130m asking price. Bernardo Silva has completed his move to Real Madrid on a free. Rodri shuts down Real Madrid rumours and says he's in the best shape of his career. And Arsenal are chasing a 16-year-old Leicester winger who could become one of England's best.

The FIFA World Cup 2026 Housing Authority has finalized Group J dormitory assignments. Argentina gets the penthouse (again). Algeria is back after 12 years with a 7-0 warm-up match and unresolved feelings about 1982. Austria returns after 28 years with Rangnick's Gegenpressing and the 1954 pennant still on the wall. Jordan gets Room 4D — their first room in the building, ever, after four decades of trying to get in. Move-in begins June 16. Bring your own pillowcases. #MatchRewritten

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